


Akira's Alter: Hotaru (Durarara!! Fan Fic)

by ShadedinMisfit



Series: Durarara!! Fan Fic Collection [2]
Category: DRRR, DRRR!!, Durarara, Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence, Durarara!! - Freeform, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Internet, Male-Female Friendship, Manga & Anime, OC, OC/Canon, Original Character - Freeform, Other, Romance, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, alter ego, drrr!! - Freeform, durarara - Freeform, fan character, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22193857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadedinMisfit/pseuds/ShadedinMisfit
Summary: This follows an alternate version of my Durarara!! original character, Akira Murasaki. On the internet, there are Personas of every single User. Persona's are responsible for creating their own, personalized worlds and are capable of interacting with other Personas, even when their User is logged off. Hotaru, Akira's Persona, is having a hard time personalizing her world and needs help..FIRST 2 CHAPTERS ORIGINALLY POSTED November of 2014 on DeviantArt.
Relationships: Heiwajima Tsugaru/OC, Hibiya Orihara/OC, Hibiya/OC, Orihara Hibiya/OC, Tsugaru Heiwajim/OC, Tsugaru/OC
Series: Durarara!! Fan Fic Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1596670
Kudos: 2
Collections: Durarara!!!





	1. Personalize

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Does anyone remember those color coded alter egos that were made for the Durarara!! characters?? I know my fanatic ass does. After I finished my first DRRR!! fan-fic back in 2013 with my OC, Akira Murasaki, I wanted to expand on a possible DRRR! alternate ego universe and make an alternate version of Akira. This was the result! I never finished so, I'm basically going back to finish writing an old fic.  
> If you want to read the DRRR!! fan fic I’m referring to, here is the link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22179436/chapters/52949497  
> Otherwise, enjoy this fic!

**Hotaru:** Well I'll chat with you guys later!  
**Kyo:** Chat with ya later!  
**Mai:** Bye!!!  
_-Hotaru has logged off-_

  
After some brief darkness, Hotaru arrives back to her vast, white world commonly known by the Users as the internet. While Users mostly see it as a pathway to numerous websites, Personas, like Hotaru, view it as home. When created, each Persona is given a blank area for their own personal canvas; they can create whatever they please. Hotaru has been struggling with the whole creative process, given that she was only created a month ago. The only thing she was able to accidentally create was her outfit consisting of a purple button up shirt that's neatly tucked into a pleated, black midi skirt with a matching black cabby hat, socks and laced up ankle boots. 

Every time she's logged off, Hotaru would attempt to exercise her personalization skills. "It involves pixels, that's all I know..," she told herself constantly, "and possibly mishaps," she tugged at her skirt.

As usual, the girl had to sit down on the blank ground and wrap her arms around her long legs, like her mind trying to wrap around the troubling concept of personalizing. "I've been trying, really I have, but how could I be putting so much effort into diddily-squat! How is every Persona and their mother able to do it?" She then started recalling her friend’s areas and how stunning they are. "Hibiya-San has a whole grassy meadow, a bricked castle, a-and even a horse! A horse that can move on its own!"

The young woman started frantically scratching her short, dark brown hair. "And Tsugaru-Chan has an even more mesmerizing area; a traditional house with equally traditional furniture, a pond, and s-so many things that just...suit him." Hotaru looked around at the white nothing around her. She felt a wrenching feeling in her throat when she was reminded that there was nothing around her relating to her leisure's, nothing reflecting her personality, just nothing. She knows she's more than nothing, but, that didn't stop Hotaru from burying her sad, light olive pigmented, and slightly flushed, face in her slender hands. Maybe if she caught enough of her tears of frustration, she'll be able to make a river.

"How do they do it?" She uses the back of her hand as tissue, "How do they do it?" After repeating that question in her head for, about, the fiftieth time, the frustration slowly stopped flowing. "How do they do it," she said in a husky yet more encouraging tone. "I'm such a silly girl, I can ask them how they do it!" She jumps up to a positive stance and a grin to match, "And they can show me. It's a simple solution."

That positive surging thought encouraged her black booted feet to start sprinting towards an indistinct direction for an area with no exact location. Hotaru has to remind herself that she has to think of who to visit first otherwise, she'd just keep running into the vastness. "Off to see Hibiya!" she shouted. Then, she suddenly felt like a familiar floating sensation as she became engrossed by a blinding flash of light.


	2. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hibiya does not like unwanted, sudden company.

The sun shone brightly upon the green meadow. The grass was almost soft and thick enough to silence the hooves of the galloping white horse being steered by the proud, young rider. The horse halted as Hibiya looked around, once again praising his beautiful meadow in his mind. The breeze was starting to lightly flow through his soft, short, black hair when he said, "Just one more little run around my gracious home before I head back." He adjusted his golden cape so that it would flow just right and adjusted the simplistic gold crown that seems to always be intact. "Yah!" He jerked the reigns to the left to start his final run. While his horse starts trotting, Hibiya pulls out a long, thin stick and hits the backside of his steed with it. "Come on, girl!!" He was anxious for some adrenaline, "Yah!" 

His horse was speeding up the more he whipped. He could feel that excitement he desires in the back of his mind. "Yah! Yah!" He can see his castle now with golden flags on top of the highest white bricked towers against the baby blue sky. When his wide grinning face looked away from his abode, Hibiya noticed that his horse was about to run into something dressed in purple and black.

"Woah! Woah! Woah!" He pulled on the reigns of his shrieking steed so hard that he slipped across his horses back and onto the grass. When he opened his golden colored eyes he saw not a blue sky, but, purple eyes of a young girl. Hibiya's brows furrowed as he realized who possessed those pathetic eyes.

"Oh, my God! I'm so sorry I startled your horse Hibiya-San," Hotaru pleaded. She grabbed his slender pale hand to offer aide, but the annoyed young man refused her help.

In a cruel voice he replied, "You're not sorry. You were just trying to stop me so you can talk to me." He slowly started getting up, "It's pathetic how far you went to get that chance."

Hurt by what he said, Hotaru decided to direct her attention towards his horse to block her feelings. "Well, I hope this guy is okay," she started petting and talking to the horse gently. "Who’s a nice and strong horse? You are! Oh yes you are!"

"Stop babying her," Hibiya commanded. Hotaru's contact was broken from the beautiful horse as he pulled the reigns. Hotaru's eyes wavered to the side to hide the visible pain in them, but, she had to keep a level head in order to ask for what she needed from the rude princely figure.

"Hibiya, I know my visit hasn't been a pleasant one so far," she followed behind the horse who was being led by the strutting prince, "But, I need to ask you something important." He didn't even acknowledge her. He just kept on walking. Hotaru started feeling the frustration build up in her throat when she stated, "Y-You see, I haven't been able to create anything in my area, and I had hoped that you could possibly hel-"

"That's your problem, not mine, you noob." When they finally reached the well kept stable Hotaru was on the brink of begging on her knees, even if it meant getting hay and mud on her legs. "Creating your environment requires concentration, patients, creativity and-"

"AND that's why I think you would be an excellent teacher," she started kissing his ass a bit. "I mean, with an impressive area like yours, I'm sure you're willing to teach any Persona your grand skill." She noticed that Hibiya's face was completely stoic. Maybe he's actually considering it. Maybe her ass kissing worked in this situation. 

"You didn't let me finish," he grabbed her chin sternly, "Creating your own environment requires concentration, patients, creativity, AND actual brain power." Hibiya gave her a light pat on the cheek and a condescending grin to match before he returned to his steed. "You can be quite childish and rude sometimes you know that, right, little bug?" As he detached the reigns he let out a chuckle for his own comment. Hotaru was appalled, sad, confused. Why would this Persona say this to anyone, especially towards a Persona who's done nothing ill towards him?

From the first day she met every local Persona from her Users general location, Hibiya had the most disgruntled attitude towards her. There's always this judgmental look in his eyes whenever she made any gesture towards him. What about her has gotten on his nerves? The way she talks, the way she looks, they way she joked if he was real royalty or not when she first met him? Hotaru was furious.

While Hibiya positioned the reigns in a particular pose, Hotaru quickly pulled something from his pant pocket. By the time the young man turned around with a flustered face, the furious crack of the stick against the white horses rear already commenced. The startled animal started sprinting out again toward the soft grassy hills. It was being followed by the startled and furious owner. For a few moments she watched the two proud creatures frantically run off into the distance. It was actually quite hilarious to her. After admiring the little scene, she dropped the stick and started running off toward the opposite direction. She was full of pride and laughs over what she just did. "I hope your User gets critically harmed you pompous bastard!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, first 2 chapters of this fic were originally written in 2014, when I was about 17. The rest of the chapters are going to be completely new, and might take a tiny bit longer to post. I hope you are enjoying this simple fic. I promise the writing will be better than the first two chapters. I just didn't want to alter the original writing too much.  
> Comments are always welcome, especially reviews and critiques!


	3. Please (, Help Me.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsugaru get an unexpected, but always wanted guest.

Light, Spring-like, breezes and the chirping of birds always accompany Tsugaru during this time of day, it helps him get into the proper mindset for yoga. Every day he does one of his routines by his lily padded pond that is not too far from his picturesque, traditional one-story, Japanese home. Today, however, Tsugaru is ready to attempt a new position, the sirsasana, otherwise known as the head stand.

It’s not a matter of whether he can support his entire body weight, that’s nothing for his supernatural strength; it’s a matter of whether he can maintain balance, within and without. Hands are rightfully positioned, lower body pushed upward, legs straightening. The legs of his white hakama pants fell down, exposing his pale legs to the sun. His physically balance, perfectly maintains. His internal balance, however, is more questionable.

He asks himself many things, _‘Is this worth it? Do I want this? Okay, I want all of this, and I want to perfect this pose, but, will it help ease my thoughts? Is this the right method? Am I trying too hard?'_ His physical balance almost falters. ' _Just push it away. It’s not worth worrying about. Just-.'_

Past the small pond and through the trees, he sees a purple and black clothed figure running towards him, “Tsugaru-San?”

As soon as she pushes through the branches, the upside down young man could easily recognize her. “H-Hotaruuuahhh!,” he fell feet first into the shallow pond in front of him, his lower half submerging, the upper half lying face down on the grassy edge. He debates whether some embarrassment could be saved if he completely submerges in the water, turns into a humble fish, and never leave the pond ever again. While trying to adjust, he accidentally slips and submerges further into the pond. When the upper half of his body emerges from the water, a lily pad rests comfortably on his dyed blonde, now wet, hair.

“Oh, my god, are you okay?!” Hotaru knelt down and gently pushes the lily pad off, lightly grazing his wet hair in the process, and, unintentionally, making his heart pleasantly race.

_'Calm down, it’s just a hand. Hotaru’s hand…'_

“I'm so sorry. I keep messing up today.”

He hates how sad her tone sounds. “Don’t worry, it wasn’t your fault,” he calmly reassures her with a smile to match, “I had too much on my mind in the first place.” Hotaru still looks guilty over nothing. “Besides,” he lifts himself up out of the pond, “the water is nice.” She let out a cute smile once he was out, and obviously fine.

Tsugaru grabs his blue and white haori that's lying in the grass and puts it over his wet, grass stained figure. He stands above his unexpected guest, holds his hand out to help her up from a knelt position. “Come on, you came here to visit, so, let’s do just that.” With a dripping frame, and his guest now gently holding his forearm, Tsugaru escorts Hotaru towards his house as she starts addressing how a certain princely figure made her feel a certain way just a few minutes ago.

The tall, blonde host, who changed into a dry kimono set, came back to the patio, tea tray and kiseru pipe kit in hand. “So, did he know you were coming over or did you just show up uninvited?” Tsugaru kneels down to place the tray set next to his guest sitting on the edge of the patio.

“Thank you.” Hotaru carefully grabbed the fragrant, heat emitting cup. “I just did my whole running routine,” Tsugaru sat on the other side of the tray, prepping his pipe, listening to what his guest was saying, “then, next thing I knew, I almost collided with his running horse, with him on it. I tried to help him, but he refused my help and got an attitude with me.”

“From now on, keep in mind that Hibiya is the type that likes notice before any potential visit,” he puff tests his pipe, inhaling whitish, grey, exhaling a range of pastel colored puffs. Yellow, green, and then blue before he eases into using it regularly.

“Wait, are you that type as well, Tsugaru-San?”

“I’m more open-armed to guests, notice or not.” He gently grins in her direction as the end of his kiseru touches his lips. “If I have a problem with a guest, I let them know,” he slowly inhales.

“Do you have a problem with me as a guest?”

“Far from it,” he slowly exhales pastel pink smoke. “But, yeah, messaging him is the best method.”

“We can message each other?!”

“Yeah,” he clenches his left hand into a fist, then, when he relaxes his hand, a message board comes up. It looks like a hologram of parchment paper is projecting from his palm. “Think of a message board when relaxing your least dominant hand,”

Hotaru copies his action and thinks about a messaging board. Once she relaxes her left hand, a holographic black screen with a neon purple trim projects from her palm. “Is it supposed to look like this?”

Suddenly a message comes through. She hesitantly touches it and yellow text reads,

_It’s supposed reflect you in some manner._

_-Tsugaru_

She sees a reply button on the corner of the screen, and presses it. A touch screen-like key board emerges. She slowly types her reply, and then presses ‘send’ in the corner.

Black text appears on Tsugaru’s screen,

_Thank you! <3_

_*~*Hotaru*~*_

_'That’s cute.'_

A quiet, gasping, ecstatic laugh escapes her lips. “I did it. I did something new today. And it wasn’t that hard.”

Her happiness make Tsugaru smile, but he is also curious. “You haven’t been able to do features like this?” He quickly grasps his hand and his message board disappears.

“No..,” she copies his gesture and her message board disappears as well. “I haven’t been able to do much of anything.” She sips her tea to drown any hint of negativity, “The only things I’ve been able to do are travel to different Persona areas and make clothing. I go home to nothing, a blank slate."

“Not even a mock up of a room?”

“Not even a mat to sleep on.”

Tsugaru exhales indigo, “Is that why you’re visiting Persona’s today, to get some advice?”

Hotaru nods. “As you can probably tell, things didn’t go well with Hibiya. I’ve been so stressed about not being able to do much for myself. You and Hibiya have the most impressive Personalization skills I’ve ever seen, you two are my ideal skill set.”

“There’s nothing wrong with looking up to others, but comparing your personal capabilities to others is damaging.” Tsugaru adjusts his position to face and get closer to her. “I personally believe something like Personalization is a state of mind. I believe Hibiya’s Royalty standards and state of mind make it easier for him to build castles and living steeds. I believe my interest in traditional Japanese aesthetics and strife for a calm mind set make it easier to build the house we’re sitting on and ponds for me to fall in. Self-doubt will never disappear from ones consciousness, but, letting it overtake your state of mind is damaging. If you are doubtful as to whether you are capable of making or doing anything substantial, then your reality will stay that way.”

All Hotaru can do is stare in awe. She understands what he is saying; it’s just a lot to take in at once.

“So, you showed up uninvited and almost ran into his horse? If you apologize to him he might be civil and give you pointers. And I’d be more than happy to assist you with anything.”

“Well, I didn’t just show up uninvited, nor did I just run into his horse, and he didn’t just ‘get and attitude’ with me.”

_'What did he do?'_

With a slow sigh, Hotaru retold what happened, “We were walking to the horse stable, and I was pretty much kissing his ass and almost begging for his aide in Personalization. He was just being dismissive and rude, saying that it’s not his problem that I was having trouble, and then he called me a noob.”

_'She never said it was your problem, Hibiya.'_

“Then he basically told me that I lack the skills to personalize. That it takes ‘creativity’, ‘concentration’, ‘patience’, and—,” she becomes very hesitant.

 _'I mean, those things do apply, but he didn’t have to be an ass about it. But why is she hesitating?'_ The now more stern looking blonde starts to slowly but deeply inhale the last of what was in his kiseru.“What else did he say, Hotaru?”

“Actual brain power.” She bites the inside of her cheek, “Then he pat my cheek and claimed I can be childish.”

Tsugaru slowly exhales some red smoke from his nose.

“I got so mad that I grabbed his horse whip and hit his horse, who ran off into the distance. I just watched him chase his horse, and I was proud of myself. Then, I ran off saying something, like, ‘I hope your User gets horribly hurt, you bastard’. And then I traveled here.”

 _'He deserves it, but that doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do.'_ He exhales a final breathe of orange smoke, "You shouldn't have taken it out on his horse."

“Yeah, I feel horrible about that. She didn’t hurt me, he did. I got too emotional.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being emotional, but there is something wrong with how you handled Hibiya, and how you punished a horse for how her owner made you feel. However, he shouldn’t have been mean to you. He shouldn’t be mean to you period.”

“EXACTLY! I didn’t do anything wrong, well, I didn’t intentionally do anything wrong before I wiped his horse. If I obliviously did do something to offend him, he should have addressed it, like a ‘Proper Royal’ he is. He can be rightfully mad at me all he wants for what I did, but he doesn’t have to be a bastard about it.”

“Say what you mean, without being mean.” The tall man packs his kiseru kit, stores it somewhere in his kimono and then pixilates a blue and white haori into existence to wear over his kimono. “You ready?”

“For what?”

“To leave, to settle things,” He pulls up his messaging board and starts typing, “To see Hibiya.”

“Wha-Why? He probably never wants me anywhere near him ever again.”

“Too late, I asked if I can come over to drop off some tea,” he creates a wooden box with the words 'tea' engraved on the side. “He doesn’t know you’re my plus one. You can apologize and address your feelings to him then, just like you addressed them to me."

“But…”

“If he has a problem with you coming along, then he doesn’t get tea. Apparently, he can’t make his own tea taste as great as I can, so, the 'Amazingly Talented Prince' relies on me to bring him some." The protective young man gently grabs the now nervous young lady's hand. "You’re my guest, not his.”

A subtle, pinging ring tone goes off. The screen reads,

_You may come._

_Graciously,_

_Hibiya_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter onward is new material, not transferred material from years ago. That's why the quality of the writing is different.  
> How much did the quality of the writing change from the first two chapter to this one? Was the change for better or for worse?  
> What do you think of the story so far?  
> General comments, reviews, and critiques are always welcome?


	4. Proper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotaru wants and needs to apologize to Hibiya.

Not many want to admit they are flawed, especially the proud. Hibiya is undoubtedly capable of making lavish things, especially intricate building layouts, but, for whatever reason, he can't make his tea just right. It's not undrinkable; it's just not the best it could be. During one of his first, hospitable visits to Tsugaru's area, he was offered the most aromatic beverages the self-titled prince had ever smelled and tasted. From that point on, a beautiful acquaintanceship was born. Sometimes there's something better about how others prepare things for you. Long-story short, Hibiya is now waiting under his marble gazebo, surrounded by hedges and select roses from his garden nibbling on biscuits waiting for his normal delivery of Tsugaru's tea; 1 case of chamomile and 1 of green this time.

A cute bell sound chimes, notifying Hibiya of a message. It’s from his expecting guest.

_I just arrived somewhere in your garden. I’m going to follow a path that most likely meets your gazebo. I will be there as soon as possible._

_-Tsugaru-_

A minute or so later, the golden gate that separates Hibiya’s private gazebo area from the outside garden path on the other side of the hedge gently swings open. The familiar tall, blonde, traditionally Japanese dressed man walks in supporting a wooden crate of tea on his shoulder with ease.

Hibiya graciously stands to greet his acquaintance, “This is quite a swift delivery, Tsugaru. Not that you are never short of prompt, but, admittedly, this is the fastest delivery yet.”

“I’m doing well, Hibiya, yourself?” The young man smirks while making his well-mannered jest. He gently places the crate on the marble table, assuring that Hibiya’s dessert tray isn’t knocked over.

Hibiya apologizes for the lack of a proper greeting, quickly makes up for it, asking him to take a seat, but his guest politely tells him that he would prefer to stand. The prince then answers the tea supplier’s question. “To be honest, I do not remember the last time I felt so stressed, bruised and frustrated.

“What about that time you tried to organize a fox hunt and you made him too clever at hiding and the 20 hunting dogs you made were so friendly that they dog-piled you when you tried to find the fox on foot?” By the look of the dark-haired prince’s face, one can tell that what he was reminded of was a resurfacing repressed memory.

“Well, today is worse than that because it was caused by someone who should know better rather than a…” Hibiya tried to think of the right phrasing so that he would still be framed as unflawed as possible, “…an overambitious attempt.”

“Someone?” asked the already aware man.

“Hotaru,” the princely Persona grunted under his breath, studying a biscuit that he grabbed earlier. “She came barging in, uninvited, almost running into my horse going on about her problems.” The biscuit was crumbling between his pale, well manicured fingers. “Rambling about how she is incapable of personalizing and begging me to help her, like it’s my problem she is incapable of doing something simple.” He had to brush the crumbs of his biscuit off the marble table. “And if almost harming me wasn’t bad enough, after I gave her some basic advice, she grabs my whip and harms my horse. It took me forever to catch up with and calm my Lily down. I ruined my outfit, fell down and almost got trampled by my beloved. And she had a welt! That ungrateful want-to-be alternative reform school girl hurt my Lily!”

' _Based on that “advice” you gave Hotaru, you should have been told off. Your horse didn’t deserve the whipping though, we’re all in agreement there.’_

“Thank goodness you were available for delivery, though. I could use a cup of green tea right about now.” Once he turned his attention to the wooden crate, Hibiya noticed two things, that the crate read “Chamomile” and that there was only one crate present. “Not to sound ungrateful, since I did ask for Chamomile and all but, I also requested a crate of green tea as well?”

“Oh, right,” Tsugaru started walking towards the gate he entered through earlier, “I didn’t forget, I couldn’t carry both of them.”

“But, your strength? I have witnessed you carrying six at once before.”

By the time Hibiya finished his recollection, Tsugaru was already holding the gate open for someone straining to carry in a wooden crate of green tea, a purple and black clad figure with a cabbie hat. “Don’t worry, sir,” she strained to carry to the gazebo, “I have your other order right here.” The prince was wide eyed, holding back fury at the sight of the unwanted guest.

Tsugaru came up beside her to grab the crate from Hotaru’s strained hands. “Look, I know it was your idea,” he whispered, “but I can carry it. You don’t have to hurt yourself in order to make a dramatic entrance.”

“Please, do.” Without hesitation, she let Tsugaru grab the crate from her. She dusted off and flexed her hands to get the blood flowing again while he placed the crate on top of the other on the marble table, next to the man with the gold eyes piercing her, hoping the sheer intensity of his anger would drive Hotaru away. It didn’t.

“I realize that you don’t want to see me, especially since what I did just happened earlier today.” She calmly inched closer until she was under the gazebo with both men. “But, I want to apologize for what I did. Afterwards, if you never want to see me again, just say so and I’ll co-cooperate.” She is nervous but she is going to suppress it as long as she can.

After a few moments of stern pondering, Hibiya sat back down and was willing to offer his unwanted guest the seat across from him. As Hotaru took the surprisingly cold marble seat, Tsugaru gave them some space by walking out of the gazebo and taking comfort in a nice sunny patch of grass not too far from them. He can leave them be yet still have a chance to quickly mediate, if so needed.

“Well,” Hibiya finally broke his silence, arms crossed, maintaining his gold piercing stare, “what is it you are sorry for?”

Hotaru took a deep, nerve suppressing breathe, and she was ready. “I’m sorry for taking my frustration out on your horse, and also for wishing harm on your User while I ran off.”

“You what!?”

“I guess you didn’t hear me, but I said something along the lines of ‘I hope your User gets severely harmed!’ after you started running off to get your horse.”

Hibiya jumped to his feet, leaning in closer to his superfluous guest. “That is a vile thing to say!”

“I know. I was trying to hurt you, because you hurt me. Taking it out on your horse as well as your User was a horrible way to get back at you.”

The furious prince straightened his posture, overpowering Hotaru. “Oh, so given the chance you would have whipped and wish me ill-will directly?”

“No! I-,” she had to compose herself for a second to prevent tears. “All I’m saying is that the frustrations I had been with you, not your horse and User. Not only did I take things out in the absolute wrong way, but I took it out on others that had nothing to do with our problem. I am sorry for taking things out on your horse and User. I am sorry for how I took my frustrations out, whether it was on them, you, or anyone for that matter. It was disgustingly disrespectful. I am sorry, Hibiya.”

The prince kept an arm-crossed, stern look for, what felt like, forever. He broke the silence. “Is that all?”

Hotaru, with ears buzzing, eyes stinging and belly dropping, gave a puzzled response. “D-Did I forget something?” Hibiya simply walks out of the gazebo, nose up, fast passed. She was able to grab his shoulder before he was off the last step. “Please, if I obliviously forgot something that I did to hurt you, I-I’d rather you tell me than not.” At this point Tsugaru was standing; putting out the kiseru he started smoking.

“I give credit to your admission to animal abuse, vile declarations and probable meditated abuse,” his pale hand grabs the light olive toned one on his shoulder and firmly removes it, “but you still forgot the fact that this incident could have been avoided if you asked to visit. I would have politely declined and we would not be in my garden arguing now,” he steps down and quickly pivots to meet her purple, glassy eyes, “would we?”

Hibiya walks only a few paces away, leaving his guest shaken when he reiterates, “Actually, I take it back. This could have been avoided if you spent more time figuring out your own problems rather than attempting to rely on me, or even Tsugaru, to hold your little hand while you do basic tasks. Isn’t that right, Hotaru-chan?” The tall, blonde man wanted less part in this argument.

"A-All I wanted was some advice from someone who has been doing personalization longer than me because I tried everything else I could think of."

"So, Tsugaru was second choice?” He looked in his now untrustworthy tea suppliers direction, “Way to make Eros feel special.”

"Huh? Wait! This isn't about him, this is about us."

"You and I both know he's more than competent in personalization, I mean, handling your incompetence!” Hibiya hoped he saved himself from his sudden admission, “Yet, you come to me first.” An admission that doesn’t hurt the Prince’s pride might help. “Then you run away to be comforted by the same man who could have helped you in the first place when you do something horribly wrong because the cute, obliviously helpless act works on him and not me."

"I-I,” to try to prove Hibiya wrong, she refrains from her want to look back at Tsugaru. She didn’t want him to swoop in and save her from her problems like Hibiya pointed out. “I didn't want to burden him..."

"But you wanted to burden me?"

"Ideally I didn't want to burden anyone.” Hibiya scoffed at her claim. “If I figured out how to personalize in the first place, we wouldn't be here, that is true. You two are the most skilled Personas I know but do you think I want to bother you with my problems, no. But, I guess, one or both of you would have been burdened eventually with my in-incompetence."

Tsugaru refrained from going over, putting his hands comfortably on Hotaru’s shoulders and sincerely reassuring her that she’s not a burden while giving Hibiya the death glare. But that would just prove Hibiya’s point if he did that.

Hibiya is ready to cut deep. "What a little mess. If you can't even figure out how you feel or how to act, how are you going to figure out how to personalize?"

Hotaru was on the boiling defense."I just wanted to apologize to you, I-I don’t expect forgiveness but all you've done since my first visit is rude and dismissive, even when I tried to act how you wanted. A-And you’re worse now."

"Please,” the annoyed tone is far from hidden, “this is coming from the one who was rude and dismissive first."

How many times does Hotaru have to say sorry? "Okay, again, I'm sorry for not sending a message first; Tsugaru actually taught me how to do it now. It won't happen again."

"Not then, when you first arrived about a month ago."

She tries to comprehend what the heavily irritated Prince was talking about but, for the life of her she couldn’t figure it out. Tsugaru was there when she first arrived too, she was hoping if she glanced his way he’d be able to remind her of what she did. All he did was shrug, leaving her even more confused. "Hibiya, what are you talking about!?"

"Don't play dumb, you know what I mean."

"I obviously don't."

"You obviously have an attitude."

"Again,” she let out an emotionally exhausted sigh, “just tell me what I did. Don’t beat around the bush! I’m obviously not picking up on what you mean.”

Hibiya rolled his eyes. “You should know better. By the time I existed for as long as you have I knew how to treat my fellow Personas and I finished up the rudimentary structure of this here garden for wanted guests to enjoy. I did not dismiss one’s offer to help because, unlike you, I did not need it.”

Did Hotaru dismiss Hibiya when they first met? She’s trying to remember if she did. Tsugaru was scouring his memory as well. That just led to more anxiousness and emotional exhaustion.

Hotaru slowly shook her head as she noted, “Not everyone is coded to be completely figured out like you are. Not everyone is a fast learner like you."

"Obviously," He has had enough of this foolery. “Now, could you please leave my area all together, I’m tired of this nonsense.” he starts walking towards the gate.

Tsugaru, frustrated with how Hibiya spun Hotaru’s apology, was about to get more involved by attempting to grab Hibiya and make him properly handle this situation, but Hotaru’s hand pulled his pale arm down before he reached the Prince.

The now aggravated Hotaru was walking after Hibiya with a teetering temper, making her final, unfiltered statement. "Maybe if you actually stopped walking away and civilly talked to me like the proper superior you supposedly are, I can know what the hell I did when I came into mere existence to make you not want to be anywhere near me and be a total ass about it! **”**

Suddenly, a flat rudimentary, purple outline of a donkey appears in front of Hibiya and quickly pushes him back towards Hotaru, knocking them both into the soft, trimmed grass. Tsugaru is taken aback, eyes wide, hands over his mouth, concerned about the well-being of his fellow Personas. The rudimentary outline pixilates out of existence as the two Personas moan in pain from the collision. There are moments of silence over what just happened in those last few seconds.

Finally over the shock, Tsugaru goes to easily and carefully pick up each of the now grass stained and sore Personas with each hand, getting them to their feet. He starts brushing grass from their hair and shoulders off. “Are you two alright?” They both just whimper in slight pain.

“Ow,” Hotaru winces when Tsugaru touches her shoulder. He quickly lets up. “God, H-Hibiya, I’m so sorry. I-I have no idea what I just did.

Tsugaru starts to calmly explain, “I believe you created something based on you’re fe-,” but he is quickly interrupted by the shrill Hibiya.

"You put your meditate abuse into action you dim noob!”

Now Hotaru has had enough. "Stop calling me a noob!” She gets in his face, “And I am not dim!!" The garden and the three Personas are then surrounded by small, blazing and numerous flecks of warm toned lights that slowly flicker and fade as Hotaru transitions from rage and frustration into shock and confusion. All three were in awe of the short lived spectacle; Hotaru slowly backing away from the now dirty Prince before sprinting out the gate she made her attempted dramatic entrance earlier.

Noticing that Hotaru is leaving, Tsugaru is about to run after her, but he almost trips on Hibiya’s crown in the grass, which isn’t too far from Hotaru’s cabbie hat. He picks both of them up, quickly places the crown on top of Hibiya’s dark hair and proceeds to run after the undoubtedly emotionally conflicted girl.

The self-claimed proper prince is left alone bruising, frustrated, stressed, and grass stained in his not so peaceful garden. “Typical.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hope you are doing well, considering our various...circumstances.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.  
> What are your thoughts on this story so far? Anything that needs improving or needs to be addressed? What are your thoughts on the characters and how I wrote them? What are your thoughts on the whole conflict for this story? What are your thoughts on this chapters argument?  
> Are you excited for the last two chapters? Hopefully the waiting period between chapters doesn't take as long as the previous chapters.  
> Reviews, critiques & general comments always warranted!  
> Stay safe!


	5. Pixelate

Once the blinding light faded, Tsugaru could easily spot Hotaru standing in the middle of nothing, numerous feet away, facing away from him. Her head is down, the closer he walks towards her the more he notices that she is holding her left arm tight. Within hearing distance he thoughtfully asks, “Is your arm hurt?”

She gives a ‘so-so’ gesture with her hand.

“Can I see?”

Hotaru turns everything towards the fretful young man except her face. She does not want him to see how red her eyes have gotten from crying. She lifts her arm up, fist clenched. “It’s just sore with a few scratches.”

Tsugaru can see that the scratches are getting inflamed and puffy. Some had pinpoint dots of dried blood along them. His long fingers gently brush a blade of grass off one scratch, making her flinch. “Sorry.” He then asks if he can tend to her arm. She nods her head ‘yes’, but she still doesn’t turn it.

In a few moments Tsugaru creates a soaking wet, soapy cloth, a dry cloth, alcohol, natural soothing gel, gauze, and medical tape. Hotaru turns her head, further impressed with how quickly he can create things in fine detail, but avoids his gaze, missing how much revere his blue eyes are holding for her. She just focuses on him smoothly tending to her arm.

He checks her other arm, it’s not nearly as bad, just needs a few band-aids, so he makes a box for her. He lets her apply what she thinks is necessary, arms and legs. Hotaru jumps up and asks her caretaker to apply some on her face if she has any. “If I had a mirror I would but,” her voice almost cracks but Tsugaru agrees so she can avoid any more tears. As she props her head up for him to see, the caretaker could finally see how glassy and red her eyes are and how much she was fighting off her emotions.

Tsugaru’s heart aches. He wants to take Hotaru in his arms, let her head nestle into him and allow her to cry as much as she needs to. Let her tears stain his kimono, he could easily make more. He wants to console her, and gently kiss the top of her head. However, that would be too personally fulfilling, instead he places a band-aid on a single scratch across her cheek, his thumb indirectly caressing her. To top it off he pulls her cabbie out from an inside pocket of his outfit and places it on her head. “There,” he kindly smiles, “good as new.”

“Thank you, Tsugaru-san.” She gingerly smiles back, but only briefly. “But, all the new things I learn turn out to be not so good. All I’ve done today is hurt the ones I care for and wanted advice from.”

“You made a structure of a donkey, made it move, and made some alluring, firefly like lights.”

“That was an accident. Just like my clothes and everything I do apparently. And what did I get out of it,” she turns around, raising her arms towards the general blank area, “nothing! I still don’t know how to create willingly. I can’t keep making stuff by accident or through outbursts.”

Her now worn out frustration comes out. “There’s absolutely no way Hibiya wants to talk to me ever again. Especially since I apparently offended him during our first ever encounter. I don’t even remember what I did. How do I apologize for something I don’t remember doing!?” Hotaru presses the heel of her hand against her eye to prevent herself from crying, she has too much of a headache for that.

“I was there when you were first logged-off as well, but I don’t remember anything offensive coming out of you, at least not intentionally offensive. Hibiya,” a part of Tsugaru felt like he was taking a risk, but he wants to give an honest input, something that Hotaru prefers, “you must have offhandedly said or done something during our first encounter that he got offended by. I suggest you apologize for whatever general rudeness you did.

Her gaze muddles with mixed emotions to that advice. “Apologize for my supposed dismissal of whatever he offered? I think he offered to help, like he claimed in the garden, but, I don’t know with what.”

Nerves were crawling to his throat at this point. He inches closer to her, “I still think he should apologize for spinning the argument and for how nasty he got.” Hotaru undoubtedly agrees with that, but she starts fiddling with her top lip out of nervous contemplation.

Tsugaru continues, “I’ve known Hibiya for years now and he may exaggerate things but he doesn’t lie about them, especially things he takes offense to. What you said must have been unintentional but he took it as rudeness and just repressed how it made him feel to save his pride. He’s made a mountain out of a mole hill.”

“Yeah, a jagged mountain.” Her and Tsugaru sit themselves down onto something relatively soft but supportive.

“Maybe if you apologize he’ll better specify what you said or did, but realistically you can’t always expect things like that, especially from a drama king.”

She just let out a quick, back of the throat laugh while she still contemplated, which diffused into curiosity and notice. “Are we sitting on something?” Both of them look to either side before quickly standing up to see that they were sitting on a purple, 3-dimensional, and rudimentary grid of a general bed with a comforter and a simple frame. Both were shocked and slightly embarrassed that they didn’t notice it sooner. Hotaru hesitantly runs her finger on top of the comforter and the grid subtly moves wherever her finger tip goes. “It-It’s solid. It doesn’t look it but it is.” There was a pause before she states, “I wanted this.”

“A bed?”

“Well, something to sit on. I wanted to sit down and think. I guess subconsciously I was thinking of a bed. I forgot I had nothing to sit on.” She lifts the comforter and crawls into the bed to test if it is completely solid. It is, and it’s comfortable. She is clearly cheerful, but she is still confused about a few things. “Why can’t I change it? Why can’t I make it a different color or more detailed like my clothes?”

“What do you want it to be?”

“I-I don’t know maybe gray and quilted, something simple.” A subtle and slow pixelation runs halfway across the rudimentary quilt. It seems like the less sure she is, the less it fills in, and starts retracting.

“Are you sure you want that?” Tsugaru is now closer behind her. “I think your doubt is your culprit, Hotaru. I think you have to be sure you want what you want.”

When she made her clothes it wasn’t an accident. She admired the clothes her User was searching online. She wanted to look like a combo of her Users search history. The white skin suite she, and apparently every Persona starts with is fine, but far from preferable. She wanted to make her own outfit. Now, she wants a simple but comfortable bed set. A comforter the color of storm clouds, gray bedding, a black bed frame with storage, and a purple close knit blanket at the end of the bed in case it gets chilly and to add color. Without fully realizing it, what she undoubtedly wants slowly pixelates into fruition.

“T-Tsugaru,” she is amazed at herself, “is this right?” She turns to face him.

“Does it feel right to you?”

She smiles wide, “Yes.” Without thinking, Tsugaru’s hand rests itself on her shoulder as non-verbal support of her answer. He realizes that his hand might be invading her space and tries to quickly pull it away, but Hotaru pulls him into a hug, her arms around his slender but firm torso, and her head against his shoulders. “Thank you, for being here, Tsugaru.” His heart warms, his grin widens and he gently starts returning the hug.

“If you were aware of my presence would you thank me for my emotional support as well,” Hibiya spoke up. This terrifies both Hotaru and Tsugaru. The hug brake but Tsugaru’s hand becomes protectively placed on her shoulder. “I assumed that if you weren’t going to answer my messages that you would be in your area sulking.”

Hotaru checks her message board, noticing that she has 3 unread messages from Hibiya. Basically he asked if he could come visit her and then assumed that because she wasn’t reading the messages that she was held up. Hibiya then justified that if she could repeatedly come over uninvited, then he can too, but he will not make a habit out of it.

“That’s a little back handed,” Tsugaru comments as he skims the messages over her shoulder.

Hotaru interrupts, “I’m sorry for not responding. I didn’t even hear the notification.”

“Well, I can see that you and Eros made some progress today,” he is either pointing at them specifically or the bed behind them. It is too general of a direction. “Also,” the struggle in his voice is subtle, “I’m considerate of the fact that you were just introduced to the messaging system today. So, there is no need to apologize for that.” Tsugaru’s grip tightens, but that doesn’t stop Hotaru from composedly walking towards Hibiya.

The Prince’s clothes are clean but there is a bruise forming on his otherwise professionally demeanor face. There is a suppressing pierce in his golden eyes, as if he is still miffed about what has happened today.

“Thank you for considering that.” Hotaru is trying her best to not let her frustrations and nerves get to her again. “I understand that you coming here is not a sign of forgiveness, I don’t expect that, but I’m a-assuming that you still want to talk. Otherwise, why would you be here?” He does not respond. “I am truly sorry for all the things I did to you today. I’m sorry for showing up uninvited, I’m sorry for abusing your horse, I’m sorry for showing up uninvited again and hurting you with my rudimentary donkey.” He raises his head in slight, in supposed anticipation for more.

“I am not going to apologize for wanting help today, just for how I took my frustrations and anger out.” The Prince looks irritated again, ready to argue. “But, I do want to apologize for dismissing you when we first met.” His irritation calmed to a low boil. She did consider Tsugaru’s advice on how to handle apologizing for something she does not remember doing. “Before I do that though, you have to tell me what I specifically dismissed you on, because I do not remember what I did. If I’m not sure of what I’m apologizing for then it means nothing. I want my apology to be genuine.”

Hibiya did not want to admit that she made a good argument. Instead he deeply sighs before pulling up his message board. Hotaru can see that he is skimming through, what looks like, computer files.

Curiously, Tsugaru walks closer to the two Personas. “How are you doing that?”

“It’s something we can all do, technically. I just have a better knack for it.”

They both have many questions but before either could ask, Hibiya specifically asks Hotaru to listen. He opens a file, an audio file. Casual chatter can be heard and the gold colored sound bar moves with each significant inflection. It is their voices.

_“Hello, miss, I see you have just met the tall and fair Tsugaru.”_

_“Yes, he’s very nice, and VERY tall.”_

Tsugaru’s soft, flattered laugh could be heard. _“Thank you, Hotaru, is it?”_

_"Yes!"_

_"It’s a beautiful name,”_ Tsugaru compliments.

 _“Yes, quite lovely,”_ Hibiya agrees.

_"Thank you, ummmmm….?"_

_“Hibiya.”_

_“Hib-Aye-Ah…"_

_“You’ll get the hang of it. Don’t worry, miss.”_

Some casual conversation pursues before Hibiya’s recording asks. _“Miss Hotaru, since you are new here, and are new to the Internet, I assume that your Area must be empty. I would like to aide you in Personalization.”_

_“Don’t worry; I think I’m capable of doing things on my own.”_

_“But, Miss…”_

_“How hard can it be? Besides I want to make things on my own, no help or influence of others.”_

The conversation tapers off, but Hibiya was not heard for the rest of the clip. Hibiya closes his holographic board and an awkward silence falls upon them.

Hotaru realizes how unappreciative and casually rude she actually was being then. “Hibiya, I-,” Despite his serious face, there is a tinge of resurfacing hurt. “I was the asshole.”

“Yes. Still are too.”

“Hey,” Tsugaru raises his voice. Hotaru holds him back.

“I became a hypocrite too.”

“Very much so.”

On one hand she is relieved that she finally knows what Hibiya was talking about but, on the other hand, she feels guilty for all the small yet consistently inconsiderate things she has done. “I said it so casually, and I did things so casually, that it just kept building your frustrations up to annoyance and hate.”

“I don’t hate you; I just think you were being full of it.”

“I am sorry for dismissing your offer to help and for being consistently inconsiderate.”

Some of his hurt subsides, but not completely. “That’s a good apology, but it means nothing if you don’t act upon changing it.”

“True.” She decides to stick out her hand. “I promise to work on being more considerate.”

Hibiya’s stares at her small, light olive toned hand. “I’m not going to apologize for being offended by what you did,” he removes a white glove, “but I am apologizing for my improper handling of my offenses.” His pale bare hand grabs hers. “I promise to work on not letting things build up,” He then adds, “and I promise to not expect people to know what’s wrong. You know, bring up my offenses sooner rather than wait for an apology.” Both grew a mutually soft, forgiving grin on their faces.

As their hands shake, Hotaru asks, “Can you teach Tsugaru and I how you did that file search thing?”

Before Hibiya could answer, a gold aura pulsates around him. “Oh, I’m being logged-on.” Before he completely pixilates upwards, he says, “When I get bac-.” Both Personas’ watch as he beams up into non-existence, leaving Hotaru to think, ‘ _so that’s what logging in looks like?’_


	6. Pastime

It is Hotaru’s turn to host the monthly get together. Sure, her, Tsugaru and Hibiya pay small visits between each other, but they decided a while ago that once a month all three of them would meet up in one of their Areas to fully catch up. Tsugaru suggested it, Hibiya claimed it as his idea, and Hotaru initiated it.

Depending on where they hang out, their types of visits vary. Hibiya, the fanciest of the hosts, goes on about the finer things in life or tends to showcase a part of his spacious Area, asking for input on how to make things better. He eventually wants to hosts eloquent events, like masquerade balls and such; Hotaru is totally for that idea. Tsugaru, the chillest of the hosts, tends to relax with his guests, play games and just do general activities. He eventually wants to install some interactive features such as a bathhouse or even a beach; Hibiya has high expectations of it, and is willing to help. Hotaru wants to be the most fun of the hosts, but she still has to get her Area in order. She wants to much but, with some management and assistance, she’ll be able to build up all the potential fun she wants. Both Hibiya and Tsugaru are willing to help her achieve her wants.

Yes, Hotaru has met and befriended other Persona’s between the time she was first logged off to until now, most of them pretty out there, others sweet, others casual, but something about Tsugaru and Hibiya just seems better. Maybe stronger connections, maybe each of their Users know each other. Regardless, Hotaru feels more at ease with these two than other Persona’s, despite the tensions.

Some bickering does occasionally occur, but it has not gotten as nasty as it did between Hibiya and Hotaru months ago. In fact, their last argument was whether Hotaru’s backyard should be grass or rock landscape. Today they agreed on a combo of the two.

Hotaru has slowly come along with her Personalization skills. Hibiya has helped tremendously with the structure of her house and Tsugaru has helped with fine details. It’s a simple, admittedly Americanized, one story house. Besides her bedroom, and a few essentials, nothing else has been personally furnished, painted, or decorated yet. The one thing she undoubtedly excels in, as Hibiya surprisingly admitted during a one-on-one visit, is lighting and movement. Her skills can be seen with the fairy lights loosely hanging across the off-white patio awning swinging to a fabricated light breeze.

Hibiya was encouraging Hotaru to better sculpt her patio chairs to match the table when Tsugaru came outside with some lemonade and a humble, yet delicious looking salad. The rudimentary chairs were solid enough to sit on so, they all decide to take a lunch break.

“Thank you so much for making lunch.” Hotaru grabs a carrot slice from the top and nibbles on it.

“Hey, that rhymed,” Tsugaru responds.

“Don’t put your fingers IN the salad!” Hibiya exclaims.

“You’re not going to die,” Hotaru responds, “I don’t even think we can die. Can we?”

“It’s the courteousness of it, regardless of one’s mortality.”

“It’s just a slice of carrot,” Tsugaru grabs a slice for himself and eats it. “There’s more than enough.”

“Fine,” Hibiya pouts, “But I’m serving myself first.”

“Fair enough.” Hotaru then turns to Tsugaru and thanks him again. “I should have made something; I am the host after all.”

“You and Hibiya were preoccupied, and I wasn’t doing much of anything today. Besides, I like making food.”

“Well,” Hibiya speaks up, “why don’t you ever make food when you come visit me?”

“Because you are particular, and you usually make it yourself.”

“Also,” Hotaru adds, “what are you talking about? Tsugaru makes tea for you.”

“That’s an established export. Besides, he provides the bags, he doesn’t brew it. It’s the offer and initiative that counts.” Hibiya takes a bite of his self-served salad and pleasingly drops the argument.

Hotaru and Tsugaru meet each other’s gaze and a grin. Tsugaru suggests, “Maybe next time we’re at Hibiya’s I can make something,” Hibiya non-verbally agrees since he has a mouthful of salad in his mouth. Tsugaru then adds, more in Hotaru’s direction, “Maybe later we can make dinner together.”

“That would be wonderful,” Hotaru replies. “After you help me with my whole sky situation,” she points up at her solid, but flat blue sky. “It would be nice to have clouds or something.”

“Of course,” Tsugaru takes a big bite out of his salad serving but does not break eye contact with Hotaru.

Hibiya just stares them down while sipping his lemonade, which isn’t nearly as tooth aching sweet as them. It is borderline irritating.

Their conversation continues and they eventually get back to work. Hotaru quickly finishes the chair she was working on and Tsugaru helps with the rudimentary shape of a cloud. Hotaru could make it float and move like a cloud should but the details aren’t there yet.

These past few months Hotaru has felt more comfortable with where she is and what is to become of the life she is making. Not only does she have a home to look forward to when she is logged-off, but she has someone, two someone’s specifically, who she can reach out to when needed.

Even though her Area is far from what she wants it to be, Hotaru can undeniably take a look around and confidently know she no longer has nothing. She has and will have more than she ever thought possible, and a little extra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my once abandoned, now finished fan-fiction! I plan on writing more fan fics about Hotaru as well as Akira's other Alters in the future. I also have plans for non-Drrr!! related fics. I just have to find the free time.  
> What did you think of this fic? Did I write Tsugaru and Hibiya well? Was Hotaru a decent OC?   
> Reviews and critiques always welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you are enjoying this.  
> Comments always welcome!  
> I have this story laid out so, I know how many chapters this story is going to be, what's going to happen and how it will end.  
> Follow the story for updates!


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